heartbeat...

Rethinking the last few years, I reminded myself of how blessed I am to have the most beautiful favors of Allah and His Beloved Sallallahu Alaihe Wasallam upon me. I reflected on circumstances of the past and much recent present. When some thing good is underway, Shaytaan derives pessimism and frustration from our own insecurities... And if we reflect and keep our hearts afloat in faith.. Those things that seem impossible pave way to move mountains. Time to gear up, time to take that breath and well.. Leap. One will either end up with wings, be carried to harbor or.. Fall to a bed of flutters and flowers.. Never to dark and dense evils or sorrows. Alhamdulillah to everything I have today... Alhamdulillah to every reason I may have to glow... And people wonder why I am fascinated by Fireflies...


These were my thoughts, my musings for the last two days or so. I've been just frying my mind, body and soul towards producing work for my thesis. I'm really slow paced, because it takes me REALLY long to get my sketches out and even longer to just resolve it all. I'm just on that tick tick moment in time. I'm very tense, super nervous... but at the same VERY optimistic. 


Mission Graduation means a LOT to me. More emotionally than proudly speaking...
My Papa has invested so much of his efforts and time in putting me through such a strong institution for education. My Mama and Baba have put in just as much if not more in helping me cope with everything from my monthly haul of art supplies to the late night 'I can't do this' tantrums... or the jitters and bugs along with the frozen leg and deep heat spray moments on jury mornings! I can't forget my aunt and uncle's endless pep talks, or even Api's for that matter. I can't even begin to not remember those times Nivy kept me from going crazy abot my work... I can't remind myself enough of Z's support... he's the biggest source of encouragement.. and WHAT worries me beyond words is possibly disappointing or giving my little Hayaati any sign of negativity about studying in an art school, or venturing to be a 'Textile Designer'... she's very confidently told her teachers she wants to be one when she gets older, just like her api. It makes me melt when she says things like, Api drawing ker rahi ho? Aunty ko acha laga? C-ster! You can do this, you can keep at it, thora thora kerke Aunty Khush hoyengi jayengi. Aap kerte raho. That's motivation for me.


Graduating is a VERY big thing. When growing up, my dad never attended my 6th grade 'graduation'... he never attended the 8th grade one either. When I made it out of A- levels, that too wasn't a big deal. Because his definition of accomplishment and achievement.. AND graduation.. was that thing you call a degree after 4 years of intense hard work. Alhamdulillah, he's ever proud of me for my Firefly.. but now it's like I just owe him and my mum so much by just possibly walking the stage in that gown with that dopey cap... 


MashaAllah, Dissertation Viva went well. I couldn't really figure out if it was constructive criticism or that my topic really stirred questions. I didn't get bashed for punctuation errors... and it was conversational all in all. Felt positive after my 12 minutes of sitting in the Board Room. Alhamdulillah!


Now for thesis, I took on linear floral.. in contemporary design... to accompany my flowers, I chose geometric elements as well as stripes and grids... We don't really see that in dupattas. We're always on the hunt for that 'somethin'. Well, that hunt is damn crazy when you yourself are in the designer's shoes... I have a lot to do... but I'm at it. Slow but steady? Is it safe to say so?


I'm a 'chooza'.. you know a little chick when it comes to things with colossal weightage.. like that degree thing... or the 'G' word... The first para of this post, those opportunities... those reflections.. I've literally  gone back and analyzed my 4 years at the valley, the people I've met, the experiences I've encountered, everything. It just adds to what I feel or how I think now. If anything, it brought me closer to my family, it gave me more faith in Allah and His Master Plans. You lose some, to win some... and when you win some... You realize the true value of that 'something'. Alhamdulillah! 


Oh! For everyone who reads this and wants to know what's up with the orders? I realized after a good talk with my parents that it was necessary I put Firefly on hold. *gasp* I know. I really really need to get through this inshaAllah to be able to get through more and accomplish more later on. :) So apologies to all those disappointed, JazakAllah to everyone sitting patiently, and love to all those who keep me in their duas and do let me know they're waiting or miss me. :) <3


To all those who have gone abroad for the Holy Pilgrimage, may Allah Almighty accept your beautiful ibadah and give all others that opportunity to cleanse their souls and fulfill this arkaan of our deen. 


Thank you Allah mian for EVERY blessing... please write me a good recommendation letter Allah Kareem, for the sake of Your Beloved, Sallallahu Alaihe Wasallam. I really REALLY need one at the end of the month...


Oh and Allah Mian, thank you for giving me my Mama... because... :)

iWonder

So, the last two days, every newsfeed, status update, wall photo, and e-article covers the latest tragedy, death of Steve Jobs, co founder and CEO of Apple.

Mr Jobs, has been accredited as a visionary who impacted lives through innovations he created, that took the world by storm. He changed the world... Reminds me of the time Michael Jackson, the Prince of Pop departed...

Think and pause for a second... we have had the Quran and Sunnah for over 1400 years... unchanged. Same values, same benefits. Why aren't we appreciating that? :/ No disrespect to the departed soul, but seriously. Makes me wonder.

Every form of corruption, every form of grief, sorrow, hardship and is taken as a mis-judgment (Naoozubillah) or lack of hearing/answering our prayers. It is not taken with the idea that the Almighty gave us blessings in abundance, we just never sat and thanked Him for a minute... instead we rounded ourselves up into waiting since 4 am outside an AT&T outlet to purchase the new iPhone, when waking up for Fajr is just so dang difficult... -_-;

Allah Kareem just likes listening to us cry out to Him, loves hearing us call out to Him, speaks proudly to the angels when He is Praised, as He rewards His servants. It is never that this was 'wrong' or it 'shouldn't' have happened... the blast last month itself was an example. People say too bad, a young child lost his life. Lost his dreams.. lost his tomorrow... We don't realize he actually went to a much better place than you or me. He left this world in innocence, when a sin wasn't known to him, when evils were far from his sight... Allah Kareem has the Master Plan... and He writes it the Best way we can never think or imagine possible.

And for everyone saying Rest in Peace, and all the Heavenly wishes... Mr Jobs was a Buddhist.. A Muslim is to pray for his hidayat and forgiveness while he is alive, for a chance he may revert to the true path to Islam... after the soul has departed.. there  isn't a prayer we can keep for him. Allah Kareem knows best.

I never owned an iPhone, or iPod, or MacBook... I know people that have.. I know those who are affected and upset... and well... Everything's pre-written. Yes?

PS: This isn't meant to offend anyone or disrespect anyone's view, it is intended to provoke thought, to re-contemplate our own faith, our own heroes.. and OUR final destination, not the the technological revolution's.